I have a date!!!
Unfortunately, not the dinner and movie kind…
More the ‘let’s shove a wire in your boob and then cut out some cancer and make your boob smaller’ kind of date.
Yes. A wire. I already have a pin in the lump and now I need a wire. Hopefully they won’t hang me from it..
What did they use before the wire?
Apparently, it’s to help my surgeon find the bit to take out. I find that slightly worrying and a little bit surprising… in my mind, my cancer looks like some dark swirling shadow amongst baby pink fluffy clouds…. Bit like opening a bag of marshmallows and finding a burnt one..
Also, what happens to the wire? How long is it, could it take someone’s eye out? Hopefully it will be copper colour……..
I feel I should be making the most of my last few days of being a DD but quite frankly I can’t be arsed.
And next week brings...
Tuesday is D day. Literally.
I don’t feel scared at the moment. In fact, I’m almost excited. Excited because I can see my future. Excited because I have one.
The good kind
After all, I do have Cancer and apparently, according to some, the best kind.
Seriously.
I have what is known as DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ) or pre-evasive cancer.
It seems some people feel that this is perhaps not cancer at all, or even better, call it the “good” cancer.
The good cancer? !
Firstly. Jog On. (Being polite…)
Secondly. Never say either of those things to my face or to anyone ever again.
There is no good cancer. Cancer is evil. It messes with your body and your mind. The evil hides. In plain sight sometimes. It is not just the tumour. Cancer is all encompassing.
Pre evasive simply means before it gets invasive.
Just because the nastiness has not broken through the duct and invaded other parts of the breast doesn’t mean it’s not cancer. Â And no one knows when or why it changes from non invasive to invasive but it can happen at any time.
Yes it does mean that sometimes you get more choices for treatment. More options. You may be lucky enough not to need chemo.
And it’s probably not terminal. Probably.
It is still cancer!
But it’s still cancer. There is nothing good about it. DCIS could change to invasive at any point, maybe even as I am typing.
So please don’t insult me or anybody else by saying these things. If you really don’t know what to say, say nothing. There are plenty of articles on the world wide web of thing to say and not to say to someone with Cancer. Please read them so you don’t get smashed over the head with the nearest inanimate object.
Maybe give gin.
In the meantime, as I await the next step, I’m going to try and enjoy the next few days. Spend time with great friends and drink wine and gin. My friends are bloody amazing. They are my tribe, my sisters, my fellow warriors and my support.
The most important piece.Â
For me.
